Patrick J. Sauer Online

As the summer winds to an end, and the nights cool, our collective eyes look to the cornucopia of crops and the biodiesel found within a Ben Franklin butter statue...

Or something like that, just stay away from Farmer Dan's Martha's Vineyard veggies if you know what's good for you, Hurricane Earl {Campbell?}.

This week's AOL wrap-up brings you the story of Farm Boy & Girl, a clothing company that specializes in cow-and-chicken-themed apparel, sly sloganeering ("Cock of the Walk") and authentic 100% cornfed hot young Midwestern models. 

You're welcome. As a thank-you for your continued support, enjoy a bumper crop of Farmer's Daughter jokes. Gets randy out there under the harvest moon. 

I also interviewed a dude whose love of all things penguin led him to a quirky career as a purveyor of penguin paraphernalia, a publisher of the Penguin Post, and a position as the Aptenodytes patagonicus of penguin partisans.

Topic of the day: Best penguin ever? Chilly Willy, Tennessee Tuxedo, Mario Lemieux, Burgess Meredith, Wheezy or Mr. Pin?

My vote? Opus. Waddle with me, won't you...

This is not the movie star, this is an attractive lass in a blue wig and a whipped cream bra with cherries on top. More on her in a bit. 

I thought I would give you some literal eye candy before revealing who our mystery celebrity is.

Four hints: Casino, A Few Good Men, William Shatner and (a personal favorite) The Usual Suspects...

The Russian spy ring has us all up in the arms race, but it really hit home for me when I found out that the covert plotting was taking place a block from my apartment:

(Before we get into the Cold War Redux, tear down this HuffPo wall!)

(FYI: it's worth checking out the HuffPo comments section for this piece. There's a number of notes from veterans and parents of wounded soldiers.)

No matter what new technologies develop, singular photos always seem to provide the lasting images that sum up wars on the whole. Matthew Brady's shots at Antietam brought the horror and carnage of the Civil War home, the V-J Day "Kiss" captured the euphoria and relief of the end of the "good war," and the terrifying "Napalm Girl" displayed the barbarity of modern weaponry unleashed on a civilian populace.