Essays

That Joke Isn't Funny Anymore

Wednesday, 29 May 2013 12:53 Patrick J. Sauer

The New York Metropolitans did a remarkable thing last night, they became the first team in Mariano Rivera's otherworldly career to beat him in a game where he doesn't record an out.

It will be the highlight of the season. The Mets are predictably horrible--'OARIBBLE in Long Islandese--so it will be a long summer of reading writers pile on. It would be nice if some of them could take the extra step of not including the hackneyed reference to Bobby Bonilla's deferred money payout. It's meaningless. You writers can do better, even if the Mets can't.

One thing to ease this dude's pain? The Classical has a fantastic new tablet magazine. If you enjoy well-written pieces by scribes who don't go for the obvious tired shorthand, then this is for you. Trust me for once.

Lights Out at the Carrier Dome

Friday, 08 March 2013 14:36 Patrick J. Sauer

Come Saturday night, Marquette could be regular season Big East champs, a major accomplishment considering they lost their two best players from last year's squad. In order for that to happen, Marquette needs to beat St. John's in the Garden, Notre Dame has to best Louisville (temporarily rooting for the Irish may not be worth it), and Syracuse must take down Georgetown in D.C.

I wish the last Big East matchup between longtime frenemies--the Hoyas and the Orange--was at the Carrier Dome. I saw Marquette play there last year and it was the best venue I've been to for college hoops. I'll miss it, but they can have Duke.

We'll take the basketball-only brethren and the collars.

I wrote up our trip to the 'Cuse for The Classical, home to finest sportswriting around. That's no hyperbole, give it a look.

(As always, thanks to the fine scribe David Roth for running the site and making my stuff better. Good editor, good writer, loyal Blackbirds fan.)

Today's Top Ten: My Favorite NSFWCorp Stories (By Me)

Tuesday, 12 February 2013 19:02 Patrick J. Sauer

There's been some exciting changes at NSFWCorp--which you should totally subscribe to if you haven't already--but I'm not sure what I will end up doing over there once the state of flux ends. (Update: We've Relaunched! Print in the Mail. Check us Out!)

Hopefully, there will still stories to be written because it's a terrific site with all sorts of interesting scribes noodling about sex/science, being the War Nerd, and the sheer awfulness of the "Sandy Hook Singalong."

Here then, you will find my "Top 10 Favorite Pieces Written By Me," as self-indulgent a list as can be. But I'm proud of 'em and wanted to give my tens of tens of fans the chance give 'em a looksee.

As always, I am humbled by anyone who stops by the site, and grateful to those who read onto the next page...

This Christmas, The Gender Toy War Rages On

Monday, 17 December 2012 14:32 Patrick J. Sauer

Merry merry, friends and frenemies.

My Christmas gift to you is that policies have changed at NSFWCORP and now most of the articles are available to everyone. We're socialists that way, just like Santa Claus. Goodies for all the girls and boys! I'd fill your virtual stocking with the "12 Days of the War of 1812" series.

I'm going to add links to all my pieces soon--I know how excited you are for that--but I wanted to get this one up today since it's all holiday-themed and whatnot.

Toys are the new battleground, sigh.

Wild Blonde Indians!: A Massachusetts History Lesson for Scott Brown (From My Nephews)

Wednesday, 03 October 2012 14:10 Patrick J. Sauer

I was paying just a bit of attention to the Massachusetts Senate race between Scott Brown and Elizabeth Warren because it--along with the Wild Western Montana contest, go get 'em Senator Seven Digits--will go a long way in determining who has control of the allegedly "intelligent" wing of Congress. I became much more interested when Brown strangely decided to turn the election into a referendum on Warren's possible Native American heritage.

Short version: Warren grew up in Oklahoma, was told she had Cherokee ancestors, checked boxes saying she was a minority, and later unchecked them. Basically, Warren repeated family lore that's unverifiable, but there's no evidence that she ever benefitted from the claim. It's a nothing story being rehashed to gin up the angry white people.

Race-baiting is part of the game, but this time, as they say in the action movies, it's personal. The two reasons I became much more invested in the Brown/Warren race are Waylon and Amos.

(You can find this story and others on the blog "As You Can See" I'm Not A Native American. First posted by Christopher McKenzie, a Boston-based professor, filmmaker, and light-skinned Kiowa Indian.)

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Patrick J. Sauer Online

That Joke Isn't Funny Anymore

Lights Out at the Carrier Dome

Today's Top Ten: My Favorite NSFWCorp Stories (By Me)

This Christmas, The Gender Toy War Rages On

Wild Blonde Indians!: A Massachusetts History Lesson for Scott Brown (From My Nephews)

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