Patrick J. Sauer Online

A buddy of mine started the Universal Record Database, which is 1/2 Guinness Book of World Records, 1/2 Stupid Human Tricks.

If you've ever wanted to be a "universal record holder," think of something you do best, film it, and your place is secure in goofball internet history. Until someone breaks it. 

The URDB has live stage shows here at Joe's Pub. Last week, I went on stage and set a Bob Beamon-esque mark for a man, his Muppet, and Goodfellas quotes. Check out our amazing performance right here.

Little Kim stole the show, but just so you're aware, that one has a foul mouth. 

(Ed Note: If you want more URDB goodness, here's an interview I did with the Labyrnith Wizard.)

I was fortunate enough to take the new Lexus HS250h for a spin before Toyota's new baby hit the wall. 

The review was originally posted at the thoroughly entertaining green-living website EcoSalon. They cover all sorts of interesting topics like why fancy steakhouse beef is bogus, how to make an upcycled terrarium and healthy foods that lead to doin' it, Mother Nature's contribution to your love life.  

Thankfully, the brakes on the HS250h weren't faulty. I will live to eat another sexy meal of Maca and Goji Berries.

Last night, most of you basketball fans out there probably tuned into the Cavs/Lakers showdown to try and decide, once and for all, whether LeBron James or Kobe Bryant is the current king of the NBA.

 

Not me. While you were "bugging out" over the undisciplined streetball, I was watching old Indiana Hoosiers clips from the days when basketball was basketball. 

Here is a little something about Mike Tyson's Punch-Out!! I wrote for the Worldwide Leader.

This is the "go the distance" version with extra trivia nuggets at the bottom that got cut from the original. 

I feel, however, that I wasn't forthcoming in the original piece need to tell you that I never beat Iron Mike.

In fact, I never even got by Super Macho Man, and there's a chance I only beat Bald Bull in my dreams.

I know for a fact that I took down Piston Honda though. I fear not his TKO from Tokyo.

Enjoy this stroll down NES memory lane. For my money, Mike Tyson's Punch-Out!! is still the Greatest of All-Time. And if you forgot what made it the G.O.A.T., here's a quick refresher course from the champ.