Patrick J. Sauer Online

Two more days until that most wonderful time of the year...

Time to making plans for skipping out on classes, jobs, and stay-at-home parenting for that little event known as MARCH MADNESS. Not for nothing, but Marquette is having one hell of a season. Ain't that right big fella?

As great as college basketball is, "Bracketology" can be a huge pain in the ass. Yes, you're to blame Joe Lunardi. Take it from Paddy Buckets and The Classical...

Do you hate America? If so, you would hate NSFWCORP, a brand new cultural/political/humor web magazine that all the cool kids are reading. For a mere $3 a month, you can support a fine entrepreneurial small businesses that's keeping this once proud nation from falling into the abyss. Or whatever the cranky old white folks say. 

Even if you detest me and/or my work--and I totally get that--there is a stellar slate of writers, including Jason Heller who is filing powerful dispatches from his Denver home about the aftermath of the Dark Knight massacre. They'll make you think while you laugh and cry. 

A large chunk of our citizenry spit on the Declaration of Independence. Don't be one of those people pooping on America's party. This piece was hot as a firecracker on July 4th, so do your patriotic duty and sign up for NSFWCORP today. It's what Thomas Jefferson would have wanted.  

If there's one thing we Americans can all agree upon, it's that the 19th-century presidents had the best muttonchops the free world has ever known. 

That, and they kicked a lot of monster ass.

What the hell am I talking about? I am referring to the movies they should have made instead of Honest Abe Goes Toe-to-Toe With Dracula or whatever that move was called. 

More importantly, I am talking about the fantastic new web endeavor NSFWCORP.  It's a humor/culture/politics/popular stuff daily rag with an outstanding stable of writers. Yes, I'm a staffer, but I wouldn't implore you to spend $3 a month (one less Big Mac) if it sucked. 

Trust me on this one, take a flier. If it you aren't happy, I will refund your $3 next time we meet. Where else will you find Mitt Romey tax return Mad Libs, the future of avocado babies, and live Olympic banana bread updates from a Londoner, and an update on "Fuckberg?"

I will repost my pieces, but it'll be two weeks after the cool kids get them. Plus, everyone on staff is funnier than I am, including our fearless sober leader Paul Carr.  Please subscribe, I can't be held responsible for what the Invisible Man will do otherwise.

(AP photo) 

Well now, that was something, wasn't ti? tried to enjoy game one agnostically, but it didn't take. It's fine for casual sports viewing, but personally, it doesn't feel right with this Heat/Thunder basketball bacchanalia. At various points during game one, I was rooting hard for both teams. It's unnatural. It threw me off. I need to pick a side. (This is where I lament my lack of knowing the neighborhood bookie.)  

I meant to have this up prior to game one, but I have baby brain. Anyway, it covers all the important aspects of the Finals: Pizza, Jon Lovitz, beards, tough guys, Jimmy Buffet and the old men at the Y. Special shootouts to Craig Williams and Nancy Kurowski, for living in the Thunder cloud. Here it is, courtesy of my man Tony at GoodShotAtLosing.com.