Patrick J. Sauer Online

A buddy of mine started the Universal Record Database, which is 1/2 Guinness Book of World Records, 1/2 Stupid Human Tricks.

If you've ever wanted to be a "universal record holder," think of something you do best, film it, and your place is secure in goofball internet history. Until someone breaks it. 

The URDB has live stage shows here at Joe's Pub. Last week, I went on stage and set a Bob Beamon-esque mark for a man, his Muppet, and Goodfellas quotes. Check out our amazing performance right here.

Little Kim stole the show, but just so you're aware, that one has a foul mouth. 

Last night, most of you basketball fans out there probably tuned into the Cavs/Lakers showdown to try and decide, once and for all, whether LeBron James or Kobe Bryant is the current king of the NBA.

Not me. While you were "bugging out" over the undisciplined streetball, I was watching old Indiana Hoosiers clips from the days when basketball was basketball. 

One list features the iPod, Netflix, the Tesla Roadster, the Blackberry, the Wii and, of course, the Snuggie.

The other list includes Crocs, the Segway, the Pontiac Aztek, Big Mouth Billy Bass and the "foolproof jackass locator" Bluetooth headset.

Can you guess which list is which?

I'm only posting the links to the Inc.com piece here, so you can get photos along with all your sarcastic holiday goodness.

Happy New Year, loyal readers!

Here's to hoping 2010 is better than last year. Unless you were one of the fortunate few to have a great '09, let's bet that Ooohh-oohh-chiiiiiild....things are gonna' get easier.

In the spirits of better days ahead, here's a lovely view of New York City from an upper-floor bathroom at the super hip Hotel on Rivington.

May we all get to bathe in the lap of luxury this year. (No, this was not the room I bedded down in.)

After the jump, I've posted links to the mini-vacation I took in a hometown hotel and the places I reviewed in Washington D.C.